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Tips to make your Valentine’s day special, despite your chronic illness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s day is a time for expressing love to your special someone.  It is not a day to go broke.  If your celebration depletes both your bank account and energy supply, you are defeating the purpose of the day.

Living with one or more chronic illnesses is tricky.  We want and need to do things for others, yet many of the things we do increases our chronic pain or forces us to cancel doing something else for someone else.   Sometimes, that someone else is you!! Sound familiar?

Sometimes, it is what our significant other does to express their love that triggers a flare.  Because of this I want to share a few tips to not only help you show your special someone how much you love them, but to also express some love for yourself and vice versa.  Sit down with your partner or send this article to them, because together you can make this Valentine’s celebration less painful.

Watch your spending

What does money have to do with your chronic illness? A lot when stress and anxiety are flare triggers.  When I spend more than I can really afford on my husband, I begin stressing about how I am going to pay for my pain medication, next doctor visit, or groceries…. When he spends more than we can afford, I am faced with the same fear.  Anxiety and stress replace any joy that was received when the gift was given.  Those feelings never go away.  Even years later, those feelings tarnish the memories made on that special day.

You can still express your love without spending extraordinary amounts of money.  One example is to give each other a coupon book.  Coupons from your able bodied spouse could include a massage, helping with housework without complaining, giving you a quiet afternoon without the kids, etc.  Coupon ideas for the chronically ill to give to their loved one could include an intimate evening of sex (let’s face it, we don’t always feel up for it and coupons could ease the pressure to perform when you physically aren’t able to enjoy it), getting out of the house to enjoy a cup of coffee and conversation, an evening of watching their favorite show/movie, etc…

Respect your body’s boundaries

If you have been chronically ill for a few years, you have an idea of how your body will react to an evening out in mid-February.  If the weather during this time of year triggers or increases your chronic pain, then going out will just exasperate it.  Instead, plan an evening in.  You can still dress up if you desire to and have the energy to do so.

If you and your partner insist on going out, make reservations! Don’t risk a flare coming on too early while waiting for a table.  Choose a restaurant that has comfortable seating.  Find one that has a quiet and romantic ambiance versus one that has TVs and music blaring.

If you typically are tired or worn out on a Thursday evening, plan your celebration for the weekend.  Or plan for another night when the rest of the world won’t be celebrating! There is nothing wrong with your romantic dinner taking place next Sunday or Monday evening!

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups.

PEMF therapy with Oska Pulse has taken my pain managment plan to a whole new level! Click here to see how it has improved my chronic life and click here to learn more about the device and how it may help you too! BTW My discount code DIVA will save you $55.00 when entered at checkout!

Accept what you can do

Maybe you are having a rough year.  My heart goes out to you, because I know exactly how you feel.  There were years when I just couldn’t leave the house or get dressed.  I hated that the best I could do was brush my hair.  Sadly, there were a couple of years when that didn’t even happen.  I know how frustrating it is to want to go out, to do something special, to be anywhere but in bed and in too much pain to enjoy being in bed, and wanting to forget your pain even if just for one night, but…… If that is where you are at this year, embrace it.  I am not saying that you should be thrilled about it, but that you should remember that this is just one day of your life.  Who knows how you will feel next year.  You could be worse or you could experience some improvement.  Look at me, I spiraled downhill for 10 years before I found ways to reduce my chronic pain from fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, psoriasis, degenerative disc disease, coccydynia, and abdominal adhesions from endometriosis and surgical scarring.

Even with my improvements, I still have to respect my body’s boundaries.  My body is not happy with the cold and wet weather we are currently experiencing in southern California.  Last year it was warm and sunny and I was spending time at the beach, Hollywood, Disneyland, and Palm Springs without accruing pain.  This year’s weather is making getting out as often as I would like more difficult.  But I know better days are on the way and because of that I am not worried that I haven’t been able to go out as much this month.

A little message to the partner that doesn’t have a chronic illness

Please understand that your partner wishes that they could go out to dinner, go dancing, and spend the rest of the evening getting busy with you in the bedroom.  Unfortunately, pain gets in their way.  Whether they are amidst a flare or know that they will pay for all activity with an onslaught of physical pain the next day, pain rules their brain.  If they say no to a night out, they aren’t rejecting you.  If they don’t want to have sex that night, it isn’t because they find you unattractive or don’t love you.  They are in pain…..   A little tip, if you really want to increase the odds of having a romantic evening with your partner, clear their schedule for the next day or two.  Seriously, sex is painful, flaring or not! Some of us need time to recover.  If we have to get up and go to work, get the kids ready for school, go grocery shopping, clean the house, go to church, etc. the next morning, then we are more likely to say no.  However, if you were to schedule it for a time when she/he doesn’t have any reason to get out of bed unless they want to the next day, your odds for receiving a thumbs up increases!  This advice doesn’t guarantee a green light, because an unexpected flare could ruin it all, but putting thought into their after sex recovery shows that you thought about more than having sex, you thought about their needs beyond it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Weekend Recap February 4-8, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is a rundown of this week’s articles!

Read what you missed and share what you liked!

 

 

 

 

 

Love is Stupid

In this article, Donna helps us overcome our insecurities and to recognize that we are worthy of being loved. Click here to read.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Believe in That Disease

Have you ever had a doctor who didn’t believe in your chronic illness?  I have.  Having doctors who either didn’t believe that fibromyalgia was a real disease or that were totally uneducated in this disease put my life at risk when I was faced with an unrelated life threatening health issue.  Click here to find out what happened.

 

 

 

 

 

The Benefits of Charcoal Soap

My daughter and I have recently started washing our faces with charcoal soap.  Her for acne and eczema, and I for psoriasis and smoother, tighter skin.  Click here to find out what benefits there are to washing with charcoal soap and which brand we recommend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Online Medical Marijuana Recommendations: Convenient or a Waste of Time?

Have you heard of doctors offering online medical marijuana recommendations?  I didn’t until last year!  Click here to learn about my experience and to see if this service is available in your area.

 

 

 

 

 

Why a Diagnosis is a Reason to Celebrate!

No one in their right mind would celebrate receiving a diagnosis of a disease that is incurable, right?! Or should they??!!!  Click here to find out why each of mine were a reason to celebrate.

 

 

 

 

 

28 Ways to Practice Self-Care

Click here for 28 ideas to help you love yourself this month!

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups.

PEMF therapy with Oska Pulse has taken my pain management plan to a whole new level! Click here to see how it has improved my chronic life and click here to learn more about the device and how it may help you too! BTW My discount code DIVA will save you $55.00 when entered at checkout!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why a Diagnosis is a Reason to Celebrate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before receiving my first chronic illness diagnosis in 2001, I would have scoffed at the idea of celebrating anything other than hearing my doctor say that all tests came back showing nothing wrong.  However, my attitude changed quickly when one test after another showed nothing wrong when their clearly was something very wrong…….

I have celebrated each and everyone one of my diagnoses.  It wasn’t because I wanted to be sick.  Seriously, who in their right mind would want to have psoriasis, fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, degenerative disc disease, coccydynia, and a belly full of adhesions (from endometriosis and surgical scarring) that to this day are attacking her bowls and bladder? Not me!

You are probably wondering why I would even contemplate celebrating a list of conditions that aren’t curable.  I have celebrated each one, because they gave me insight to what was going on in my body. Instead of knowing something was wrong, but having no clue as to if there was something I could do different to make it better or if I was making it worse was maddening.  Knowing what I was dealing with helped me move on.

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having a diagnosis validated my instinct.  Like when I knew there was something severely wrong going on in my belly, yet 22 surgeons either blamed it on fibromyalgia or said it was all in my head.  Click here to read about how their ignorance and refusal to listen to me put my life in danger. Every nurse and physician in the recovery area were in shock and horrified by what my surgeon had discovered during surgery, but not me.  I was smiling ear to ear, because his findings validated everything I had been saying for two years! I wanted to go to the rooftop and shout “Who’s crazy now??!!!???!!”

Without a diagnosis, friends and family believed each and everyone of those incompetent surgeons.  They would even suggest to my face that I wanted to be sick.  Living without a diagnosis is devastating, not just physically, but it has the ability to kill relationships.  Do you know how hard it is to trust those who believed the physicians over me?  To this day, there are some relationships that will never be mended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could research symptoms until the cows came home and still have no idea what was going on.  Having a diagnosis to research gave me insight to what my future may look like.  It helped me accept that I had to make changes to how I lived, did things, and what I expected from my life as I grew older.  A diagnosis allowed me to let go of my old life, to make modifications to how I did things, to experiment and find ways to improve my health and lower my pain.

Having a diagnosis makes talking with others a little less frustrating.  Instead of saying I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, I had a disease to declare! Of course nobody seems to get that my diseases are not curable, but that’s another issue.  At least I had a name of an illness that they could look up to learn more if they chose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A diagnosis made it possible to meet others who are experiencing the same thing.  While we each have our own unique struggles, it is nice to bounce ideas off of each other and sometimes we find something that helps us all.

Do I wish I had never become chronically ill?  Of course, but I am thankful for each diagnosis, because without them I wouldn’t have been able to find a way to live with my symptoms or to reduce the pain that comes with them.

Was there a time in your life that you knew something was wrong, yet all the tests came back showing nothing wrong?  How long did it take for you to be diagnosed and what was your reaction?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PEMF therapy with Oska Pulse has taken my pain management plan to a whole new level! Click here to see how it has improved my chronic life and click here to learn more about the device and how it may help you too! BTW My discount code DIVA will save you $55.00 when entered at checkout!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Online Medical Marijuana Recommendations: Convenient or a Waste of Time?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those of you who live in states that have legalized cannabis for medicinal use, you need to have a doctors recommendation or certification in order to purchase and use it.

The frustrating part of the process is that your primary care physician, specialist, or pain management clinic most likely won’t be the ones to prescribe or recommend marijuana for pain relief.  Some states have a list of specific doctors you must go see, while others like California and Arizona have stand alone medical marijuana certification medical offices.  These doctors are not covered by insurance and are often located in outlying or not so safe areas.  So not only do you have spend more than what you may pay for a regular doctor’s visit, you also have to drive or find transportation to an area that you most likely never go to, and find the strength and energy to do it.  Trust, me this is exactly what held me back for the first two years after I moved to California.

So what’s someone with chronic pain and fatigue supposed to do?  From 2013-2017, I visited a medical marijuana recommendation clinic once a year to renew my MMJ rec.  Each year I thought, there has to be a better way…….. And last year, I discovered that there is!!!!!!

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may have seen advertisements for online medical marijuana recommendations and wondered if they are legit? Well, if you live in California and New York, you can be approved for and renew a medical marijuana recommendation online legally and affordably with NuggMD.  The best part is that it can be done from the comfort of your home or wherever you are.  No need to travel, no worries if you are in too much pain to leave the house.

How does it work?  If you live in California or New York, you will start by clicking on the links provided below.  From the homepage you will fill out a short medical information form, seriously it takes just seconds to fill out.  Then you enter your payment information, don’t worry, your account will not be charged until after you have talked with the doctor and have been approved.  Next you will speak with the doctor.  Sometimes they are backed up and will have the doctor call you later.  A friend of mine received her call from her doctor within 10 minutes and mine called back in less than five.  Once you are approved, they will charge your account, email you a copy of your recommendation, and mail your official copy to you.  I had my official copy in my hands in less than 2 weeks.

Click here to get your California recommendation!

Click here to get your New York recommendation!

If you live in California, you are able to purchase cannabis medication ASAP, through the recommendation site!  They have contracts set up with certified cannabis delivery services. Just place your order online and wait for it to be delivered.  After you receive your official copy, you will be able to purchase your meds at any state licensed dispensary.

You may be wondering why you should bother getting a recommendation in California when anyone over the age of 21 is able to purchase since it was legalized for recreational purposes.  Here is why: 1. Having a California medical marijuana recommendation allows you to purchase stronger strains and exempts you from state taxes. 2. Many CA dispensaries also offer lower prices to medical marijuana patients. 3. It validates your medical use of cannabis. 4. While the recreational age to use and purchase cannabis is 21+, you may receive and use a medical recommendation at the age of 18.

To answer the question of is online medical recommendation services convenient or a waste of time, they are not only convenient, they are an answered prayer to the chronic pain community.

How much does it cost? For California residents a one year recommendation is $39.  Yes, there are brick and mortar places that charge less, but I am happy to pay an extra $4 to not have to leave home.  New Yorker pay $149 for a one year recommendation.

Click here to get your California recommendation.

Click here to get your New York recommendation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Benefits of Charcoal Soap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you tried charcoal soap?

I recently tried it and let me tell you this….. I would have no problem landing on Santa’s naughty list if he would be willing to drop bars of charcoal soap in lieu of lumps of charcoal into my stocking.

Seriously! Who knew that something so simple and pure could make my skin feel so good??!!

Before I share the brand I tried and why I love it so much, I want to share some of the benefits of washing your face with charcoal soap.

Benefits

* Treats oily skin

Charcoal soap removes dirt and excess oil from your skin.

* Provides flawless skin

Charcoal soap controls facial oil and draws impurities that builds up in pores and removes dead cells.

* Treats acne

It removes toxins and skin impurities which helps in the treatment of acne. It may also clear facial marks resulting from acne.

* Reduces pore size

Charcoal soap extracts dirt and grime. It also treats clogged pores and reduces their size.

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Makes skin tighter and firmer

Charcoal has the ability to make the skin firmer and tighter.

* Suitable for all skin types

Charcoal soap is suitable for every skin type. While it extracts the excessive oil from oily skin, it moisturizes and nourishes dry skin. It is also suitable for sensitive skin. It treats skin allergies and redness on the face.

* Prevents premature aging

It helps to rid your face of wrinkles and fine lines, preventing your skin from looking old, dull, and tired.

* Treats psoriasis and eczema

Charcoal soap is effective for the treatment of dry, cracked skin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My experience

My daughter has been using charcoal soap on her face for a couple of weeks and I have used it for a week.  I have psoriasis, while my daughter has eczema and acne.  We will post a before and after review of the product we choose to try in a few weeks.  But for now we can share the following: Our skin has never felt softer! My daughter’s face isn’t red like it has been from her severe acne.

Our product of choice

There are many charcoal soaps to choose from.  But I didn’t want to try just any brand…. I wanted to make sure the soap I purchased was pure and natural.  That is why I chose the Charcoal Facial Bar from Earthley.  Their soap is made with whole plant-based ingredients to cleanse gently.

You won’t find unpronounceable ingredients in this bar of soap.  Instead you will find: Olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, coconut milk, mango butter, castor oil, and activated charcoal. It is available with a spearmint scent or unscented. Spearmint scent has spearmint essential oil.  I chose the unscented and love it!! Not sure if it is just my daughter and I who haven’t noticed any odor with the unscented or if it truly has no scent. I was worried about what the natural scent would be like and turns out I had nothing to worry about.

Another thing I love about this product is how quickly it lathers up and how easily it washes off of my face.  My daughter and I both agree that our skin feels cleaner, tighter, and smoother than ever before.  We can’t wait to see how it looks with continued use.  Click here to try it yourself!

 

Have you tried charcoal soap?  What was your experience with it and what brand did you use?

Click here to learn more about the Charcoal Facial Bar from Earthley and give it a try!

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, and this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure anything.

 

Like natural products and remedies? You will love the quality and affordability of Earthley! Click here to check out all of their amazing products!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Believe in That Disease

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to think having to be retested for a disease whenever a new physician didn’t believe that I had it was frustrating.  I can’t tell you how many times I was told by a new doctor that they didn’t believe my diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis from another physician.  Each time they wasted my money and time by reordering all the same tests, that wow, surprise, had the same results.  Thankfully, they would accept their own results and move on.

My diagnosis of fibromyalgia has been more problematic. In fact it almost cost me my life……..

Soon after receiving my diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I began having abdominal pain. I began seeing my gynecologist way more than I ever did while pregnant with my daughter.  During one visit I mentioned my diagnosis of fibromyalgia and he said, and I quote “That’s not a real disease.”

Believe it or not, his thinking that fibromyalgia wasn’t a real illness actually helped me for the first two years.  Because he didn’t believe in it, he pushed my insurance provider to approve an exploratory surgery when all tests came back showing nothing wrong.  That surgery revealed that I had endometriosis and an extremely large ovarian cyst.  The cyst and adhesions had pulled my bladder, uterus, and left ovary towards my sidewall.  In addition, they not only pulled my left fallopian tube towards the sidewall, it had adhered and embedded itself into it!

The pain and symptoms returned within a year. Thankfully he still didn’t believe in my chronic illness and agreed to perform a hysterectomy.  That surgery revealed a belly full of adhesions and a bunch of ovarian cysts.  In addition to what was found in the prior surgery, adhesions were also pulling my rectum towards my sidewall.  So far so good, right?! In fact you may be wondering how this led to me almost losing my life. Less than six months later, the pain on my left side returned and……..

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was horrified when the pain returned.  My OBGYN had removed my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes.  I had also had an appendectomy prior to the hysterectomy.  There wasn’t anything left that could be causing the pain that I was experiencing.  I returned to my gynecologist who after hearing about my pain, decided to blame my pain on fibromyalgia! The very disease he adamantly denied existence of became an easy way for him to get rid of a complicated patient.

Over the course of two years I went from one surgeon to another.  Not one would consider that I could still be experiencing problems from endometriosis or that it was possible that something went wrong with my hysterectomy.  One after the other opened my chart, without running any tests or performing any type of examination, and blamed fibromyalgia.

You may be thinking, wait a minute, those doctors believed that you had fibromyalgia!  I will never know whether they really believed that I had it or not, but I do know that they knew very little, if anything, about the disease.  When I would explain that his had never been one of my fibromyalgia symptoms, they would just say that they heard it was a symptom of it.  If they didn’t blame fibromyalgia, they told me that it was all in my head and that they would happily refer me to a psychiatrist.  Then they would close my file and leave the room…….

Two years, twenty surgeons, not one was willing to help me.  Each and everyone blamed an illness they knew little to nothing about and even denied until it became an easy scapegoat.  These men made me doubt my sanity, made everyone except for my husband and children think that I had lost my mind.  Friends and family believed that I was depressed, addicted to opioids (why else would someone go to the emergency room as much as I did), or that I wanted surgery for attention.  Funny thing about the last thing, is that all those who didn’t believe me, never helped out during the prior surgeries.  In the meantime my pain increased, I became weaker, and sicker.

Long story short, surgeon number twenty-one finally believed me and agreed to perform surgery.  What he found shocked me, the attending nurses, and the surgeon himself.  I had adhesions everywhere.  He had to scrape from my cervix up to my diaphragm. He also found that a large portion of my left fallopian tube had been left behind during the hysterectomy.  It was infected, covered in endometriosis, and was embedded into my sidewall.  Not only was it embedded into my sidewall, there was evidence of how it had adhered and embedded to other areas of the sidewall and was pulled out by adhesions.  If that wasn’t enough, my bowels were being strangled by adhesions.  But according to my original surgeon and 20 more, it was either fibromyalgia or in my head……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My saga doesn’t end here. But the point of this post isn’t to share the entire story, but to demonstrate how if any of those surgeons had believed in or had any knowledge about fibromyalgia, I wouldn’t have had to suffer the way I did.  I have always despised my diagnosis of fibromyalgia and will continue to until doctors choose to learn more about it.  The ignorance of 22 surgeons almost cost me my life. As the surgeon who found the mess informed me, having my bowels strangled like they were would have killed me.

It doesn’t matter if a physician believes in fibromyalgia if they are not educated in it.

Have you ever been told that your disease isn’t real by a doctor?

Have serious unrelated symptoms/illnesses been overlooked because of your diagnosis of fibromyalgia or other disease?

The damage I suffered continues to haunt me and put my life at risk.  Don’t let the ignorance of one or twenty-one doctors put your life in danger. Had I given up, I wouldn’t be here to share my story with you today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love is Stupid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t deserve love, anyhow. Things are going too good, so I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. People always leave me. It never works out anyhow. My ideas are stupid. I’m a failure. I can’t trust anyone. It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it. I’ll just fail again. They’ll stop loving me. I can’t live without them. They wouldn’t like me if they really knew me. I’ll just look like a loser if I try that. I’ll get laughed at if I speak up. There must be something wrong with me. Love is stupid.

*Disclosure: This post includes affiliate links. Meaning that at no additional cost to you, I receive a commission when you make a purchase through my links. The proceeds earned fund the giveaways I host in my Facebook groups. ~The Disabled Diva

These, along with many others, are the lies we tell ourselves, engraved on the bricks we use to build walls to protect us. Some of us don’t stop at building a wall and build a damn fine castle. It’s a lonely castle, though, and that dragon in the tower—a fiery, roaring beast made of our fears, insecurities, pain—keeps us imprisoned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also build walls with what we do (and don’t do). Skipping that event because you know you’ll just make an idiot of yourself. Brick. Staying silent instead of standing up for yourself or sharing your thoughts. Brick. Not going on that second date, even though the first date was lovely. Brick. Letting yourself drift away from loved ones because you fear rejection if you’re honest and vulnerable. Brick.

Walls have their place. We all need healthy boundaries and self-preservation. This goes beyond that. Barbed wire on that wall, crocodile moats, wearing full armor, and thinking about just jumping off that castle tower….. Those walls protecting us from pain and sadness also keep out love and joy. Our safety measures become our prison. When no one can reach us anymore, and they stop trying because we aren’t opening ourselves up, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Alone, unconnected… Well, I must be unloveable.

I’m an expert. I’ve been building emotional walls my whole life. My castle would impress medieval royalty. Several people that I let into my fortress because I thought I could trust them proved that my walls were needed. Brick, brick, brick! Many times, I start to take my walls down and then hastily rebuild, 2 bricks higher.

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

daring greatly

 

I’m tired. I’m tired of building. I’m tired of hiding. Are you? These bricks I’m carrying on my back, ready to shore up my wall, are breaking me. I want to be courageous. How do we stop building? I’m still trying to figure that out, but maybe we can start small. Share a bit of yourself that you’ve been walling off…. Ideally, with someone who seems to have proven themselves safe or someone you don’t have much of an emotional investment in. A stranger, a therapist, or your dog. You’re probably chuckling, but I’m serious! Sometimes you just need to practice speaking your heart and mind out loud to help you get the courage to be yourself with a person you care about, and a furry pal is a good listener. Sharing parts of yourself in written form at first can also be less scary than out loud. (Don’t try that with your dog, though. Ha!) Some of you might not want to start small and would do better by taking a wrecking ball to your walls. You’ll know what might work best for your personality. It’ll likely be a long, difficult process that’ll look different for everyone. You might need some professional help; trained therapists are excellent at teaching dragon-taming and path-building. They can help you rebuild those walls as healthy boundaries.

So, that epic wall you built around your heart… That towering castle you’re hiding in… It’s going to be really, really hard, but take a brick out. Start using those bricks to pave a path to connect you with someone. Build a door in your wall. Add some windows to let some light in. Chip away at those lies you’ve been telling yourself.

biglove

Sure, we can fend off the what-ifs by not taking any risks, but then we fend off any chance of magic, too. We also possibly invite the worst what-if of all: What if I reach the end of my life wishing I had been less fearful, had taken more chances, and had really lived?”

–Scott Stabile, BIG LOVE: The Power of Living with a Wide-Open Heart

People are never going to be perfect. Getting hurt at least a little is inevitable when you allow yourself to love, be loved, and be connected with people. It’s worth the risk. You deserve love—to give it and receive it. You deserve to share yourself with others and connect. I want to really live. I want the magic. Do you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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