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TIME IS NOTHING BUT NUMBERS ON A CLOCK WHEN RIDING OUT A FLARE

To this day I struggle with the notion that I need to be awake and working during a particular set of hours. But I am getting better at not allowing this way of thinking to prolong my flares. Because that is exactly what happens when I do fight.

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The Super Power I Really Wish For

The super power I really wish for. Admit it; at some point in your life you have wished that you possessed a super power.Β  Some wished for the power of flight, invisibility, the ability to walk through walls, and more.Β  As a child my super power wish was for the power of invisibility. Β The reason for this was that I wanted to be a detective and thought this particular power would help me solve crimes.Β  As an adult living with several chronic conditions, I often joke that my super power is living with chronic pain.Β  However when asked which power I would want, I always replied with the power to fly. The reason I always chose the power to fly had to do with my physical pain.Β  Flying would be a great way to get around when my feet, legs, and spine prevent me from walking.Β  While flying my bones, joints, and muscles would be free from pressure.Β  While still

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Living multiple lives.

Originally this post was going to be called “Living a double life”, but then I realized that I don’t just lead two lives, I live multiple lives.Β  What I mean by this is that my life when going through a flare is totally different than when my Psoriatic Arthritis is in remission and my remission days are nothing like my average pain days.Β  The things that I can or can’t do differ between each one, along with how I react to situations.Β  Many of us that suffer from chronicΒ diseases feel like we are living multipleΒ lives, there is the life people see when we leave our homes and the life no one but those closest to us see when we are unable to leave our beds.Β  It is no wonder that people have such a hard time comprehending what it is like to live with our conditions as they are usually only seeing one of our lives.Β  The three lives that

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One Flare at a Time

Sometimes I struggle to accept my age. Β It is not because I fear growing older or that I think we are defined by a number. Β I struggle with my age because I really don’t feel that old. Β Instead of looking back at a year filled with activities I see one or two events every so many weeks or months. Β In a way it feels like time stands still when I am stuck in bed with a severe flare. Β I was in my early thirties when pain invaded my everyday life. Β Back then I would try to push through my flares. Β The result was additional pain and leaving me to feel older than I really was. Β Now that I give my body the rest that it requires I feel years younger than I am. While some live from one weekend to the next or from day to day, I live flare to flare. Β How much time I have in between is

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One flare at a time

Living with chronic pain is not easy.. Some days are better than others, those are my good days. Those wereΒ the days when I would run myself ragged trying to catch up on and do all that I wasΒ unable to do while stuck in bed due to a severe flare. MyΒ down days were spent feeling guilty for not being able to help my family or to at the very least prepare them dinner. The harder I pushed my body, the more time I spent in bed. My body couldn’t keep up. It took many tears and years to listen to my body. My house is still messy and I rarely look my best, but my life is so much better now that I accept losing days and weeks of my life at a time. I am not active everyday, week, or month. A flare can be as short as a day or as long as several months. There is no way

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