Intimacy Issues: Nine Things I Wished I had Been Told When Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis Part 3


Intimacy issues should be discussed before it becomes a problem, yet they are rarely spoken of.

Welcome to part three. 1 2 < 3 > 4 5 6 7 8 9

Receiving a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease is overwhelming. There is so much to take in. Especially if you have no knowledge about your diagnosed disease and weren’t expecting it.

There are many resources available to educate us about our symptoms and treatment options. But, there aren’t many resources to inform us of the changes that will at some point or another become an issue in our personal lives.

Many chronic pain patients could have been saved a lot of heartache and frustration had we been warned about and/or educated in the subject that I am sharing with you today.

Disclaimer: This blog post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission to fund my coffee drinking habit if you use these links to make a purchase. You will not be charged extra, and you’ll keep me supplied in caffeine. It’s a win for everyone, really.


#Fibromyalgia and #psoriaticarthritis are more than physically painful. Without proper support and education these #chronicillnesses destroy lives!


Let’s talk about sex!

Chronic pain from fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis will destroy your sex life. That is unless you are willing to accept and make changes.

What needs to change?

Things that may need reevaluating are:

  • Your definition of intimacy
  • Sexual positions
  • How you view your body

It is impossible to feel #sexy when every inch of my body is screaming out in pain. #fibromyalgia #psoriaticarthritis #intimacy


Sex and chronic pain from fibromyalgia and autoimmune arthritis is tricky.

Pain may make a simple caress feel like your lover is scrubbing your skin with a Brillo pad! Hip pain may make it difficult to walk afterward. It could also impact your mobility for days.

It would seem logical to avoid sexual activity when severely flaring. However, for some sex is painful even when not in a full-blown flare.

Another con to waiting until we feel better is that figuring out what that is. We will never feel 100%. Instead, we need to figure out how much pain are we able to endure.


To limit pain we may need to find new positions or ways to pleasure our partner as well as ourselves. This may be done with lubricants and/or personal massagers.

Pain teaches our brains to avoid activities that create pain. If you find yourself no longer initiating intimacy with your spouse, talk to them. Work out a schedule or way for them to ask without pressuring you.


What could help a newly diagnosed patient

  • Patients need to be aware that their sex drive and life may change
  • A referral and/or list of therapists who have experience working with chronic pain patients and intimacy issues.
  • A pamphlet of sexual positions/acts that are less painful
  • A lubricant and intimacy toy guide explaining how to use them

Intimacy Product Suggestions

Thank you for reading part three of this nine-part series.

Continue reading:

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Published by Cynthia Covert

Diagnosed in 2001 with psoriasis, followed by fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, endometriosis, and later a botched hysterectomy turned her world upside down. Cynthia shares her experience, advice, and tips for how to make life with chronic pain easier and less painful.

One thought on “Intimacy Issues: Nine Things I Wished I had Been Told When Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis Part 3

  1. Such an important topic and so rarely covered! My husband and I have been together for about 15 years now and our intimacy has had to grow and change quite a lot as we’ve both changed and taken on more and more challenges to our health, but we still make it a priority and continue to make things work. Communication and innovation are definitely our best friends in the bedroom and you’ve provided some great tips here that really do help quite a lot! Great post.

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