Spring Cleaning Your Chronic Life:
Sanitize Your Social Circle
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Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have people in our lives that just suck the life out of us. Prior to becoming chronically ill I had a high tolerance for toxic people. Now? Um not so much.
Emotion sucking vampires
These vampires will suck the positivity, joy, and peace from your life. They steal our attention with what is often self-inflicted drama. They rarely have anything constructive to say. Instead all they spew is negativity and often over react to the simplest of issues or events. Toxic people don’t want solutions or advice, they just want to be heard and seen. You might be thinking that you are able to handle hanging out with vampires because it’s their problem and not yours. Unless you are somebody who is able to shield your heart and soul from other’s emotions you would be wrong. My chronic illnesses have increased my sensitivity to emotions, mine and of those around me. Feelings like pain, sadness, despair, anger, rage, inadequacy, doubt, and worthlessness are felt deeper than before.
Break out the garlic
I was ready to end my life after falling down the rabbit hole of depression a little over 4 years ago. I had to work hard to climb out of that dungeon. It takes an enormous amount of effort to remain positive and happy no matter what my physical circumstances are. There was no way I was going to let an emotion sucking vampire destroy my progress, so I broke out the garlic. Some vampires were easy to eliminate from my life. They were mostly acquaintances, people that really weren’t part of my life. I stopped taking phone calls or would walk away when they began biting. Unfortunately, some of us are related or close to some vampires and cutting them loose isn’t always an option. However, don’t let someone suck the life out of you just because you are related, that doesn’t give them a free pass. To deal with them I had to set boundaries. Telling them I couldn’t handle their drama didn’t work, because they didn’t care about how their drama affected me. They only cared about having an audience and instead accused me of not loving or caring about them. That wasn’t true, but try explaining that to someone who just wanted attention and created reasons to get it. I had to let a few go. Sad? Yes, but no longer feeling the stress or anxiousness that I used to was worth it. My best weapon was offering advice or putting a positive spin on whatever they were lamenting about. This stopped them in their tracks as like I stated earlier they weren’t seeking solutions nor did they want to see the good in any situation. Once I started utilizing this cleaning tool their visits and phones calls began to dwindle.
A drama free life?
I hope you realize that you deserve a happy life. Decluttering my social circle has improved relationships with those who value my friendship or relationship with them. These people are the ones who aren’t creating chaos and wanting everyone around them to get caught up in it too. There is always going to be some kind of drama in our lives, situations that we didn’t create or have control over. Real friends and family want to help and comfort not suck the life out of each other. We laugh, come up with solutions, bounce ideas off of each other, and most importantly we respect one and other.
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