The super power I really wish for.
Admit it; at some point in your life you have wished that you possessed a super power. Some wished for the power of flight, invisibility, the ability to walk through walls, and more. As a child my super power wish was for the power of invisibility. The reason for this was that I wanted to be a detective and thought this particular power would help me solve crimes. As an adult living with several chronic conditions, I often joke that my super power is living with chronic pain. However when asked which power I would want, I always replied with the power to fly.
The reason I always chose the power to fly had to do with my physical pain. Flying would be a great way to get around when my feet, legs, and spine prevent me from walking. While flying my bones, joints, and muscles would be free from pressure. While still a desirable power, I realized that there was a power that would be even more beneficial.
I was feeling discouraged the other evening when I realized that I was months behind on several projects. Cluster flares and/or one flare after another have derailed my deadlines. Feeling frustrated, I thought about how awesome it would be to be able to stop time. Like I discussed in Not Enough Time to Manage, pain and fatigue limit my productive hours. Not only do I have limited productive hours, I lose days and weeks due to flares. I have accepted that I will never be pain-free, but I still struggle with the thought that I will never be current on projects or even household chores.
Imagine being able to stop time every time a flare hit. Instead of coming out of a flare and finding myself even farther behind than I was prior, I could be on track. Procrastination would be the only reason for falling behind. Procrastination is something that I can control unlike time lost due to flares.
If I could stop time I would no longer feel like I was living in an alternate universe. I would no longer feel overwhelmed and depressed by how much my friends and family have done with their lives while I was riding out my latest flare.
The downside to my wish of being able to stop time is that nobody would ever see just how awful my conditions really are. Stopping time would deprive those who give so freely of themselves to help others. It would also hinder people like me from raising awareness. Because why would we need to raise awareness for something people aren’t able to witness? The biggest pitfall would be that if I stopped time, there would be no one to help or care for me when I needed it most.
So after careful consideration I have decided to accept my super power of living with chronic pain. It’s not something I would ever have wished for, but I also recognize that not everyone could handle it. Super heroes in the movies never get to choose their powers, so it would be silly to think that I could choose mine. Like those super heroes, I too will continue to find ways to use my power for good.
What super powers have you wished for?
Wishing you a day filled with smiles and gentle hugs,
The Disabled Diva
Tagged: arthritis, chronic illness, chronic pain, cluster flare, coccyx, degenerative disc disease, fibro, fibromyalgia, flare, health, invisible disabilities, lost time, MS, pain, pain pals, power, psoriatic arthritis, relationships, spoonie, spoonies, wheelchair