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Can’t win them all

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No matter how someone treats their chronic conditions, we can all agree that there are good days and there are bad.  Then there are the days that have us feeling as though we are being physically tortured.  Overall this has been the best winter that I have ever experienced.  Not too cold, not too hot, SoCal also received some much need rain and my pain didn’t dictate what I would do during this gorgeous season.  Since I have been able to enjoy this winter like no other, I realize that I shouldn’t complain.  But….. This past week I was reminded that while I have more control over my conditions than I did in the past, they are still with me and they have a mind of their own!!

This week has been a true test of my patience.  A test of not being angry with my body or myself.  I was slammed with a nasty Psoriatic Arthritis flare on Monday morning.  There wasn’t, and still isn’t, a bone in my body that wasn’t throbbing with pain.  The worst part has been that it’s my hands and feet that hurt the worst.  I can handle the foot pain to a degree.  Utilizing my wheelchair helps deal with the pain caused by walking.   Thanks to my wheelchair I can limit the amount of times I have to feel the sensation of all my bones breaking and pushing through my skin.  It’s having my hands hurting so badly that has really gotten on my nerves this week.  Today, Friday, is the first day that I have been able to type without excruciating pain.  I am hoping that this is a sign that my flare is nearing its end.  To top it off I was also extremely nauseous on Monday.  A handful of cereal was all that I could stomach.  Thankfully the nausea has declined.  It comes and goes but with joy I can say not to the degree it was on Monday.  I have also been experiencing a sharp ripping pain in my abdomen, which leads me to believe my adhesions are back to their old tricks.  Looks like it’s time to schedule a day of Disney Therapy!!!!

Keeping my sanity intact this week has not been easy.  It has been awhile since I have been down and out for so many days.  I had to look for the positive to maintain my cheerful attitude.  So I was stuck in bed all week, but I was able to attend the Ash Wednesday service at my church, for this I am happy.  I have had to cancel other plans, but that’s just how the game is played.  Other than a routine doctor visit I plan to give my body the rest it needs today and for the remainder of the weekend.  With a busy month ahead of me, the last thing I want to do is add insult to injury by lengthening my downtime.

So while this week totally sucked, it was just one week.  I have no idea when this flare will end, but I refuse to let that fear consume me.  Considering that it has been over a year since I have had a flare that lasted for more than two weeks, I think I will be okay.  And if for some reason this flare decides to hang on for longer, I will just breathe and hold tight!!!!

The Disabled Diva

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