Wouldn’t it be great if we knew when a flare was going to hit and how long it was going to last? But that’s not the reality that my chronically ill friends and I live with. As I write this we are 11 days from Christmas and my spine is throbbing with pain. I should be stressed out that I’ve yet to go Christmas shopping, haven’t done any baking, or written any Christmas cards, but I’m not. In a way its become my new normal. I can’t and won’t let it get me down because I was fortunate to have two months with relatively low pain levels.
During those months I enjoyed a total of eight days at Disneyland with friends and family, had a lovely Thanksgiving day with friends, and was able to drive myself to the store way more than usual. Because I know my best friend will be reading this I want to be clear that the return of my severe spine pain has nothing to do with the time we spent together. In fact it is just the nature of the beast. Every now and then I am blessed with a reprieve of the constant throbbing bone pain. This reprieve can last from as little as a few days or as long as a few months. The same time table goes for the pain itself with the exception of its length, it can last as long as nine months. In the beginning I believed that there was something I could do to keep it low or away. Well I was wrong.
So here it is and as usual I have no idea how long it will last. It’s time to switch gears and to start delegating the important tasks. Christmas cards will most likely not be going out this year. My Prince Charming will have to take care of buying the gifts. And my princess will be in charge of baking.
I want to be clear about my expectations…. I don’t expect my husband to shop like I do, many will be receiving gift cards. As for the baking I don’t care about family favorites, whatever my daughter chooses to make us is fine with me.
Thankfully we decorated the inside of the house early and I don’t really care how long into the new year it stays up.
I may have to cancel some of the commitments that I have coming up, but this is nothing new.
I will have a fabulous Christmas regardless of what gets done. I may have no control over when a flare up hits or how long it lasts but I do have the choice of how it affects my attitude.
This holiday season it is my wish that your pain doesn’t take away your joy.
The Disabled Diva