I have been living in pain and with limitations for over a decade. During this time my illnesses and limitations have never entered my dreams. That is until this week. For the first time ever I had to use my wheelchair and could feel pain in my dream. It felt perfectly normal while I was in dreamland, but I woke up feeling confused. Why now? Why haven’t I always dreamed like this? Could it be that I have finally come to accept my conditions on a both conscious and subconscious level? I am cool with that, if that is the case, because I do accept that my conditions are part of me and that they are never going away. What I don’t like is that my pain and limitations have found their way into my last hideaway. Maybe it doesn’t mean that I have accepted it, it could mean that I am getting closer to doing so and my mind is just preparing me by not letting me feel “normal” again. I really don’t know what to think about it. I am not devastated by it, but I am not thrilled either.
What are your thoughts? Are you ill or disabled in your dreams? If so, how long were you in pain or disabled before having dreams like this?
***UPDATE*** Nine months ago I had my first ever wheelchair bound dream. At that time I wondered if it was a one time thing or a sign that I have come to accept my conditions. I honestly don’t know what to think about this, but since then I have yet to have a dream in which I am walking. It doesn’t bother me that my subconscious is apparently accepting of my current state, but I do find it strange. I find it odd because in the past three months I have been able to walk more than I have had been able to during the past two years. I almost feel that there is a part of me not willing to believe that my improvement will last. In addition to always being in a wheelchair, I have had dreams of moving to a new home. And guess what??!! There is a chair lift on the staircase!!!!!!! I currently live in a single level home, so I have no reason to think about having a lift to go up and down stairs. I am a little freaked out because it feels as though my mind is trying to prepare me for the future. Then again maybe it is just trying to provide comfort by showing me that there are ways to work around my limitations.
Tagged: arthritis, chronic illness, chronic pain, degenerative disc disease, dreams, fibro, fibromyalgia, health, invisible disabilities, limitations, mental-health, MS, pain, pain pals, psoriatic arthritis, sleep, spoonie, spoonies, wheelchair