Are you my doctor?

Why do people feel the need to share how they think I should be treating my conditions?  Is is really so hard to just express a little bit of sympathy and then go about their regularly scheduled lives?  It doesn’t matter if it is someone I just met or someone who has been a part of my life for an extended period of time, there are too many people who think they have the answers without holding a medical degree, or having any knowledge concerning my conditions, let alone know my body.  Most of the time I will give a new person some slack.  I understand the feeling of wanting to offer help, even if only in the form of suggestions.  But what I wish they would understand is that after living with chronic pain for over a decade, there is a 99% chance that I have already tried or heard of their suggestion.  The ones that really get on my nerves are the ones who grow tired of waiting for me to improve.  I don’t understand why they think that I will be healed or improve dramatically when I am very clear that there are no cures or known causes for my conditions.  Their insistence on repeating the advice they gave when first learning about my conditions is tiresome.  I had to deal with a repeat offender about a month ago.  I tried to cut her short by reminding her that we have already had this conversation, but she rambled on anyways.

It was after this conversation that I realized I need to find a way to limit or stop these types of talks in the future.  I really don’t like to appear rude, but my attention span is limited when I am exerting myself by venturing  out of the house.  That makes rolling away mid-convo or telling them to shut up unacceptable.  It was at my last neurology appointment that finally provided me with conversation stopper that wouldn’t come off as rude or bitchy.  Because I have so many different allergies and sensitivities, I am not able to take the prescription medications that are approved for my conditions.  After trying to figure out if there was anything that wouldn’t cause more damage to my body, my neurologist said that his recommendation was to do what I have been doing for the past year.  Medical marijuana has been the only form of medication to reduce my pain, eliminate some symptoms, and never adds new symptoms.  While this is not his preferred method of treatment, he acknowledges that is has and continues to help me.

So the next time someone wants to ask me if there is something that my doctor can do for me, the answer is no.  I am following a plan that is approved by my doctor and is best for my body.  I am at peace with it. I have learned and continue to learn how to work around my limitations.  And most importantly I don’t want either of us to waste precious time or energy playing the “How Can We Fix You” game.

How do you ward off your wannabe doctors?

Gentle hugs,

The Disabled Diva




Published by Cynthia Covert

Diagnosed in 2001 with psoriasis, followed by fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, endometriosis, and later a botched hysterectomy turned her world upside down. Cynthia shares her experience, advice, and tips for how to make life with chronic pain easier and less painful.

One thought on “Are you my doctor?

  1. The number of times people offer me unsolicited advice about my condition astounds me. Most people – the ones offering the advice don’t even understand what my condition is but feel free to provide me helpful tips! The ones that really offend me are the suggestions that in a backhanded way suggest I am being punished by a higher power eg if I were to pray harder, go to church, let the lord into my life. I am an atheist and I would never suggest to them to change their faith for the sake of their health but its ok to do that to me.
    I now just ask them what the name of my condition is, when they hesitate unable to name it I suggest that if they cant tell me the name of it how on earth do they think their suggestions will help.
    It winds me up no end and I completely get where you are coming from,

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