Been a crazy week.  Just as I managed to reduce my tail bone pain, muscle spasms took over.  For days I experienced paralyzing moments when my muscles would seize up.  Occasionally my side muscles would pull a rib or two out.  This has been going on for so many years that I have become a pro at popping my ribs back into place.  If only I could get used to the pain that accompanies the spasms.  No muscle is safe.  Randomly from my chin to my toes the spasms take over my body.  Sometimes the spasms are back to back, other times they grant me an hour or two reprieve.  I never know when these attacks are going to hit or how long they will last.  I can go weeks, sometimes months without one.

This last attack has lasted four days.  My body is tired.  I could tell I was near the end of this latest attack yesterday.  This morning I can smile, because it was my daughter who woke me up and not a muscle spasm.  It will take time to recover, I feel like someone took a bat and beat me head to toe.  Every muscle feels bruised and weak.  One of those days that even a gentle hug would send tears streaming down my face.  It’s a virtual or air hug kinda day.  It’s hard to explain, but I  welcome this all over bruised feeling.  After days of cramping, this feeling of weakness is just what I need to be able to rest.  And that is just what I intend to do today.  It’s a cloudy and rainy day in SoCal which makes spending the day in bed or on the couch even more desirable.  Perfect day for Christmas music and a roaring fire.

I am also emotionally wiped out.  No mental energy left for caring how messy the house is or that weeds are taking over my front yard.  Instead I find myself comfortably numb.  I have cleared my mind of all my worries.  Instead I smile and find peace as I listen to Silent Night.

Time to cuddle with my softest blankets and pillows,

Air hugs,

The Disabled Diva

Published by Cynthia Covert

Diagnosed in 2001 with psoriasis, followed by fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, endometriosis, and later a botched hysterectomy turned her world upside down. Cynthia shares her experience, advice, and tips for how to make life with chronic pain easier and less painful.

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